we don’t need to be saved, we need to be loved
I didn’t really understand the importance of having a solid tribe of supportive humans until I was in a place where I couldn’t see the light. And once I was brought back to my light, I fully knew how absolutely crucial it was to have people to sit with you in your darkness. We don’t need to be saved from the hurt or our ‘problems’, we need to be loved. We need to be heard and held and loved, with no agenda. The only person who can save us is ourself.
Depression and anxiety run in my maternal lineage, and neither are something I tread lightly with . In fact I feel that my experience with these states of being were an absolutely crucial part of my growth and healing; it cracked me wide open, put me in the most vulnerable state, and ultimately filled me with more love and compassion. I chose to be in the depths of the valleys without medication, talk therapy or psychiatry, not because I think less of those avenues of support, but because it didn’t feel like it was the right path for me. My path was to sit in the pain and emptiness until it no longer became scary or overwhelming. I felt through it until it came to an end, and it does in fact end. Had I not experienced the valley, I’m not sure I would understand the beauty of the mountain top. I hold honor, reverence and gratitude for that experience.
To be alive and to be human means to experience a full spectrum of emotions. We were designed to be sentient beings, but we often shy away from or aren’t able to hold the space for the emotions that aren’t in the realm of happiness. This leaves people feeling isolated when the “negative emotions” come up. There is no such thing as a negative emotion, it just is. We need to create more of a space where we can share what we are feeling without judgement or labeling so that we can be guided to the support we need.
Whether it be a traumatic event, an ongoing stressor or the lack of co-regulation during our neurodevelopment, anxiety and depression are results of a dysregulation in the nervous system and can cause us to be disembodied. Anxiety is rooted in uncertainty about the future, while depression is rooted in something that happened in the past. According to the polyvagal theory, we need to activate neuro-regulation through a somatic experience. When we are embodied there is a decrease in the activation of the amygdala (fear response), an increase in the activation of the insula (internal regulation), and an increase in the activation of the hippocampus (memory). These changes in the brain lead to decreased hyper-vigilance, emotional outburst, and dissociation, and increased feelings of safety, relaxation and the ability to cope with "negative” emotions. Vitalistic Chiropractic care is an incredible support to achieve embodiment.
When we feel love, appreciation, and acknowledgment, neurotransmitters called serotonin and dopamine are released from the brain, increasing our mood. Decreased serotonin and dopamine levels are correlated with depression and anxiety. In America’s society we’re often labeled with a diagnosis, told to take a pill and go on with our lives. Most people who are taking SSRI’s (antidepressants) report that they don’t have a reliable social, emotional support network; hence the isolation mentioned above. I am not anti-medicine, but I feel we as a society are overprescribed and under-acknowledged. We have shifted away from communal living in many ways, but especially during these hard times.
I have so much gratitude for my tribe who continues to consistently provide me with so much support, listens and truly hears me, reminds me of my beautiful qualities, laughs with me, goes on adventures with me, and LOVES me. These are my earth angels, and they know who they are because I remind them as often as I can how important they are to me. Find your tribe and be a part of someone else’s tribe because we need each other, and we are not meant to do this life alone.
Singing, humming, and chanting are all ways to increase vagal tone, helping us regulate during times of stress or feeling big emotions. Krishna Das is my favorite to listen and sing along with.
https://open.spotify.com/track/5V1XAce8nFtkyd1186uAIF?si=fd1fa5feaf634c9b
you are loved <3
